Well he’s a friend of mine and he has this book out and he said if I didn’t put something on my blog he’d make me eat it page by page – the book not the blog!  I’ll let Jon tell you himself. Over to you Jon. Hold on that’s not Jon in that photo! Oooo-err! Aliens!
Hello everyone. My name’s Jonathan Pinnock and I’m here to try and sell you something. No, hold on … stop! … don’t go. Honestly, you’ll like this. It’s really good. And it’s a lot of fun. Plee e e e e e e a s e.

Maybe that wasn’t a good way to start.

Well, seeing as my main connection to Oonah is as one of her contributors to Every Day Poets, (ah look he’s getting the hang of this) maybe I should try a bit of verse:

Hey, everybody, come and take a look!
I’ve gone and written a really cool book!

No, that’s terrible. Like some sort of anaemic rapper. OK, let’s try something a bit more reflective. A haiku perhaps:

new novel in shops
mrs darcy versus the…
(too long for haiku)

This really isn’t working, is it?

He’s a really good poet too. No HONESTLY look at the link! Get a grip Jon! Pull yourself together and spit it out man! No don’t spit it at me you idiot! UGH! Pass the tissues.

Right then, bald facts.

Is that a toupe then Jon?

It’s a book. There are 255 pages in it, it has a full-colour cover and it measures 128cm x 196cm x 17cm. It has twenty chapters, each of which is divided into five sections of approximately 600 to 700 words, each representing a single episode in the previous online serialisation of the book, plus a prologue and an epilogue. It is written primarily using Roman characters, apart from the brief forays into Cyrillic, Chinese and Greek on pp192-193. It is typeset in Bembo 12/13.5 and has the ISBN number 9781907773136. The bar code consists of a series of vertical lines, some of which are wider than the others. It’s published by Proxima, an imprint of Salt Publishing.

Admit it. You switched off there, didn’t you?

I did – it was momentary… I’ve been under a lot of strain and I’m in EDF today.

Let’s try this, then. It’s a sequel to Jane Austen’s “Pride and Prejudice” with added aliens. It’s got tentacles, spaceships, ghostly apparitions and Lord Byron. People who have read it seem to like it, including several people who know what they’re talking about. There’s loads more about it HERE and MORE HERE

I think you’ll like it.

I like the bit about the ghosts Jon. Never heard of Lord whatsis though…

Ignore her. If you’re in the UK, you can buy it in WHSmith, where it’s currently on promotion, but it’s also available in all the usual online places, including – much to my amazement – the Jane Austen Centre. Go on. You know you want to. It’s the most fun you can have with a bonnet on.

But I don’t wear a bonnet Jon. As I say he’s a good poet – but mad as a firkin of frogs in a frozen footbath! Not his fault though. Probably a birth defect…

(Thanks to Oonah for letting me take up valuable space on her blog!)

Polite too! Look – Just buy the book – he needs the money.
Valuable space as you say, Jon. Usual cut then is it? You know the sort code, right? Ta mate!

Well – that’s it. Haven’t you got writing to do or something? Don’t bang the doo……

MRS DARCY VERSUS THE ALIENS out at Proxima NOW